Fools Gold

We went to see a movie tonight. We sort of have to pick the films based on the time they start, and on that basis we went to see "Fools Gold". This is a south sea caper with buried treasure, murderous rappers and a non "will they-won't they" romance strand. The characters are a bit one dimensional, the treasure plot is over complicated and Donald Sutherland's accent atrocious. But I can think of much more unpleasant ways to spend a few hours in a cinema. "There Will Be Blood" for example.

There Will Be Blood

Whenever I go to see a movie I write a report of it. Not sure why, let's just put it down to my determination to improve the value of this site. Then again...

Tonight it was "There Will Be Blood". Normally I avoid movies with the word "blood" in the title, but it has been well reviewed and number one son fancied seeing it.

Three hours later, as we emerged from the cinema, I reflected that I hadn't really learnt a great deal more about the human condition from the movie.  Some people are nice (though not many in this film), some people are nasty, and sometimes there are films about nasty people.

Daniel Day Lewis won an Oscar for his portrayal of Daniel Plainview, an aspiring oil baron with a very dark side. For an actor who wanted to get an Oscar the part must have been a dream come true. You can count the number of scenes which don't contain our flawed hero on the fingers of one leg. In this respect the film reminded me a lot of the The Aviator, in which which Leonardo DiCaprio played Howard Hughes, another big businessman who might not have been as nasty as Daniel, but ended up just as bonkers. Leonardo didn't get the Oscar though, which must have been a bit annoying for him.

Anyhoo, I can't really say that the film did a great deal for me. I'm not sorry that I saw it, it was well made and acted, but I learnt as much about ways of folk from The Emperor's New Groove, and it was a much more uplifting experience.

Déjà Vu with Vantage Point

Just been to see the movie Vantage Point. Kind of In the Line of Fire crossed with Groundhog Day. The president has been shot and you get to see this part of the action several times from the viewpoint of different protagonists.  Each time you find out a bit more of the plot until finally you make it to the evil doer's point of view and find out what is really going on. Then you get a really good car chase and a happy ending for those that survive. The constant repetition of the same scene grated a bit for me, but the ending mostly made up for it. Not as big or dumb as Die Hard 4.0, with no characters you really get time to empathise with, but not a bad way to spend an evening.

And we did get to see the amazing Grand Theft Auto Coke ad.

Top Billing?

Just watched Die Hard 4.0 (Will there be a 4.1? Will it have networking and workgroup support?) on DVD. Not seen it before. It is a big, dumb, action movie with some great lines and even greater explosions. For me the best bit was the credits, where some up and coming actor was billed as playing the part of "Nearby Agent". I don't think that's very helpful as a description. Lots of agents were near to John McClane at one time or another in the movie, but not usually for very long....

Cloverfield

One of Rob's movie rules is "The better the build up to the monster, the bigger the let down when you actually get to see it". Cloverfield doesn't break this rule. The look of the film itself is excellent. If a giant monster did attack New York, and the only document left was hand-held video footage from  someone underneath it, it would probably look a lot like Cloverfield.  Except for the monsters, which had the air of poorly rendered video game characters. They even had little monsterettes which looked like they were there just for the underground scenes. For my money it would would have been better if you never actually saw the monsters. Now that would have been scary.

Films have been made using camcorders before but they don't usually centre all the action entirely around camcorder footage shot by one of the participants. All the camcorder owner cliches are there, from not knowing how to use the camera to leaving it switched on by mistake.

The action starts at a party packed full of "Beautiful People" (tm). To be honest, this goes on a bit, setting up a romantic sub-plot. However, once the monsters turn up things happen very quickly indeed. And one by one the Beautiful People are picked off. The acting from the case of unknowns is very good, although it must have been very hard work for the young cast staying scared all the time.  Perhaps the reason there are no older, more unfit,  characters is that they would not be able to survive the making of the film.

If you like monster movies, you should see Cloverfield. Some of the scenes are excellent, and there are some really scary moments. But I don't think it will keep you awake for long at night. Not if you've played Doom or Quake.

I am Legend (and very depressed)

Went out to the movies tonight, I am Legend. We left the house with the intention of seeing the St. Trinians movie,  but we thought that something a little less lightweight might hit the spot better.

I am Legend is not lightweight. It is actually a zombie flick. I'm not saying that it is based on the video game "Resident Evil", all I'm saying is that the producer, the director, the writer and Will Smith must have played the game quite a lot. And got killed a lot.

The premise (the last man left alive is not alone) is quite an interesting one, but it has been done before. The whole film is basically a long downward spiral, with an uplifting bit at the end to stop the audience from all diving under busses after they leave the cinema.

And finally, a note to world leaders, when someone called Dr. Crippen invents a virus that purports to kill cancer, I think we should be very careful about letting her use it on real people.....

Enchanting Enchanted

I quite like some kids films. They have fewer bad things happen in them and, give or take a bit of singing, they are usually great fun. A well written one can be a treat, with slapstick for the kids (which I love) and some quite zingy dialogue (which I love). Enchanted hits the spot on both counts. It gives a nce take on fairytale vs. real life with some funny moments and some genuinely touching ones too. You get a standout performance from the princess and the ending is a properly happy one. Well worth a look.

The Golden Compass

I think I'm getting bored with movies packed with magic and mystery. I've seen too many bits where one character looks at another and asks in awe "You mean that this might be the chosen one?" And later someone says "..but no one must ever know..". And then we get a "..and took away my rightful throne...".

Well, The Golden Compass is all that and more, you even get a "..Luke, I am your father" moment towards the end. And you end up thinking "Meh. So what?".

Everyone plays their part quite proficiently. There are good goodies and bad baddies and baddies who might be goodies and I'm sure if they ever get to make the other two in the series we'll find goodies who are turned to the bad side by something or other. The special effects are pretty good, apart from a few "video game" moments in the fight scenes. Nicole Kidman, who must have been sponsored by a detergent company judging by the amount of white she wears, plays her part very well and even the child with awesome powers carries off her role with a certain amount of verve, even if her accent slides around a bit from scene to scene.

It is based on a book that I've not read, but it stands up well enough on its own if you like that sort of thing. And the problem for me is that there has been a lot of that sort of thing over the last few years.

Ratatouille

Rat's are not generally nice. We don't root for rats. Ratatouille is a film with a rat at the centre. And not a stylised "cute" rat in the mould of Micky Mouse. This is a proper ratty rat, who scurries and scampers and has many hundreds of swarming friends and family. Who don't always wash their hands.

That you know all this, and see all this, and still want the best for Reny, the gourmet cook with the wrong kind of whiskers, is testement to just how good this film is. The story is good, if it does sag a bit in the middle, the characterisations and voice acting is great and the rendering is beyond reproach. Everything looks great, and the images have an effortless quality about them. One of the great things about CGI is that you can take the camera anywhere, and they do this wiith verve and aplomb.

This is an excellent film at every level. Just go see it and give thanks for Brad Bird.

Wild Hogs - A Warning

It has come to my attention that some shops are stocking DVDs of the "film" Wild Hogs. It might be that people are mistakenly buying them for entertainment purposes, bearing in mind that they are being placed in the entertainment sections of some stores.

Do not buy this film. It is not nice. It manages to be offensive, unoriginal and unfunny in equal measure. I made the mistake of watching it on a 12 hour flight. You might think that in such a situation pretty much anything is preferable to sitting staring at the hands on your watch as they go round much too slowly. This is not true. I would much rather stare at my SPOT watch than this film. In fact I would rather stare at my spots than this film. I only watched it to the end as some kind of bet with myself. Which I lost.

Stranger than Fiction

If you want to see a quirky, life affirming film that features one of the coolest watches that I've ever seen (but which you probably can't buy) then get hold of a copy of "Stranger than Fiction".  I picked it up on a "semi-whim" when we were out shopping today and we watched it tonight. It is a super little movie. I'd heard good things about it but not got around to seeing it, so when our local supermarket had a copy cheap I was happy to pick one up.

It is a neat romantic comedy/drama thing built around a very clever premise. If you've ever thought your life belonged in a book, then this film is for you.

Simpson's Movie

We went to see the Simpson's Movie tonight. It was good, but not great. Around 2 episodes worth of good stuff spread over three episodes worth of time. Worth seeing though, just for some of the one liners. And I'm sure that if I watch it again I'll find a whole new bunch of things to laugh at.

Stephen put me on to this, which seems very appropriate. After some fiddling I came up with a Simpson's version of me which I'm reasonably happy with...

...perhaps because it doesn't look much like me at all.

Very Brief Film Review

Went to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" tonight. You should too.

Bloody Hell, it's 300!

It seemed a good idea at the time. Jon had never seen the Imax screen, there was a new film out which had received less than damming reviews and so off we went to see "300", a simple tale of simple people killing simply everything.

Just about everyone in the film is a bit dim. From the Spartan king who thinks that just because all his recruits had a rough childhood they can take on the might of the Persian army to the traitor who thinks that it is a plan to carry around his ill gotten gains in his pockets, complete with nicely minted head of chief baddy on every coin.

The violence is very well realised, so if detailed decapacitations are your thing you are in for a great time. Unfortunately they aren't mine, especially when projected on a screen the size of a house side. Jon said, at the end, "I don't think the Imax added much". He was right. What it gave you in this case was a much better and bigger rendition of something that you really didn't want to see in the first place.

If you are into comic books, computer games with slow motion fight scenes, comedy beards and utter tosh you will like the film. If you want plot, character and scenery other than very large piles of dead bodies then I suggest you give it a miss. However big the picture.

Go See Hot Fuzz

Hang on a minute. Let's see if I can find the right font. Ah. There it is.

Go See Hot Fuzz

Go now. Go quickly. You'll thank me. It is brilliant. Best film I've seen this year. Better than Bond (and that is saying something). Funny. Clever. Well made. True to itself.

The film is about a hot shot London copper banished to the sticks for being too efficient. But once he gets out there he finds something very nasty in the woodshed, and the church, and the florists. Gory, scary and funny in turn, it reminds you just how good Simon Pegg is. I'm going to buy the DVD as soon as it comes out. And in the meantime I'm going to re-watch all my Spaced episodes again.

Good Evening Mr Bond

Went to see the new James Bond movie tonight. A bit late, but we've only just got around to it. Well worth the trip though. Perhaps the best Bond movie that I've ever seen (and I've seen most of them - apart from a couple of the well dodgy Roger Moore ones). The action starts at frantic and then never lets up. The plot is good too, rather than a tale involving far fetched world domination with expendable chaps in coloured boiler suits on enormous sets we have just some very nasty people with cash flow problems.

The film manages to get the feel of how Bond should be and seems truer to the books than anything else, even matching the plot of the original Casino Royale story pretty closely. One thing to note though, Bond doesn't do much for local property values. Early in the film he causes a substantial amount of collateral damage on a building site and towards the end there is some serious mayhem aboard (and I do mean aboard) a block of flats in Venice.

If you want to see why the new Bond has been so highly praised you should go and see the film. If you want to see a high quality action film, with good production values and a twisty, gnarly, plot, you should go and see the film.

Devil Wears Prada vs Cars

Went to see "The Devil Wears Prada" tonight. Even though I am of course the epitome of style, I thought it worth taking a look to see if there was anything I could teach the world of fashion.

Good film. Bit like the last film that I saw, which was Pixar's cars.

• Both films had models in them with very shiny paintwork - none of which are actually real.
• Both films are morality tales.
• Both films have a baddy (of sorts) who actually gets what they want at the end (but at what cost to themselves? we are invited to ask).

Anne Hathaway played the young innocent seduced by the world of glamour rather well I thought. And Meryl Streep was wonderful as the editor in chief with a heart of granite.

In conclusion, I quite liked the movie, even though I was one of around three blokes in the rather full cinema.

The other good thing about the night was the trailer for the new Bond film, which looks like it is going to be a corker.

Cars the movie

 

Not as annoying as I was expecting

The critics have been very unkind to Cars. Previous Pixar movies (Monsters, Toy Story, The Incredibles) have been lauded as great almost before they hit the screen. Not so Cars, the build up was muted, and the reception somewhat ambivalent. I can kind of see where the critics were coming from. The idea of a world run for and by cars is  a little hard to swallow. Somehow hairy monsters living in a parallel universe powered by scared children seems a lot more credible. However, if you work a bit harder on suspending your disbelief belief you will find a lot to like about the movie.

For a start there is the look of the film. Pixar can do pictures. They can really do pictures. The images of the cars are wonderful, and Pixar pull off traditionally hard things like water, trees, gravel, smoke etc etc with almost contemptuous ease. Only mud seems to give them a problem, and it is still around the best looking mud you will see in a computer drawn movie.  It is worth seeing just for the scenery. Whether you believe in the cars or not the way they look is just incredible.

The story is a completely hack effort, no twists, no turns, you can just about set your watch by the progression of the hero as he/it becomes a more human car. There is some great imagination at work though, and some lovely visual gags. I'm sure if I watch it ten more times I'll find ten more great things that I missed each time.

I think at this point I should come clean and say that I've never liked Owen Wilson. He always seems to me like a big heavy weight that pulls down any picture he is in . However, in Cars he does a workmanlike job as the voice of the red racer with a lot to learn about life, and his surrounding voices are all well realised.

If you don't go to see this film because of the mediocre reviews then you will lose out. There are some bits which are so funny you will be laughing out loud (I was, and I certainly didn't expect to be doing that) There are also some tear jerky moments and a solid gold happy ending which I think we could all do with around now. Recommended.

Football Worth Watching

Finally, some football that you don't mind seeing on the telly. Where heroes are heroes, villains are villains and nobody's meta-tarsal gets broken.  For father's day number one daughter got me a copy of Shaolin Soccer a completely bonkers film that shows what happens when the martial arts people take up football.

So I shot home to watch it. And it is very silly. Very, very funny. And silly.  And the odd thing is that, even in the midst of the daftness, they end up creating some characters that you genuinely care about. The action shots are in the best Matrix mould. Only better.

I would strongly advise you to get to see it if you haven't already.  At the very least you should check out the film website. My favourite is the "Iron Shirt" move.

I'm going to watch the film again. Very loudly, during the World Cup Final.

Number one son got me season one of "The 4400", which looks very interesting.  More antidotes to football.

EX Marks the Spot

Went to see "Xmen, The Last Stand" tonight. When number one daughter got back from it she told us "I don't think they'll make another one". Having viewed the film, I can see what she means.

The thing that struck me first was how many of the cast become "ex-men" so early in the show. Barely have the credits finished than staple members of the team are being sent off to various untimely ends. Things get so bad that we have to call up the reserves in the form of a nervous looking lass who can run through walls and a chap whose special mutant power seems to be the ability to wrap himself and others in tin foil. Useful on a Sunday when preparing the chicken, but not much beyond that I would have thought. When they finally resorted to getting Frasier and covering him in blue fur I'm afraid the movie lost just about all its credibility as far as I was concerned.

On the baddie side we had the newly arrived Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut, who had the power to act like Ant and Dec in the credits for their Saturday show. Actually, power to act is probably putting it a bit strong. As far as I'm concerned, the next time they let him get involved in a film he should just be permitted to stay behind the camera and make the tea very quietly.

Anyhoo,  pretty soon there was lots of mayhem and tear jerking in just about equal parts. Lessons about life were learned. And life for lots of extras was dramatically shortened. Things happened for no particular reason and then it went quiet again. And then the film ended, with a fairly stupid hint that there will be more to come. As if. 

Slightly less mindless than the Fantastic Four. Not in the same country (let alone street) as Spiderman. But on balance, worth a visit I reckon.