There's always a catch in it...

/

One of the reasons why I like writing software is that I always find doing things in the "real world" much harder. Simple tasks can take on a life of their own. Take our kitchen door lock for example. We're doing some painting, which involved removing the handle. When I tried to put it back together I discovered that the catch mechanism had completely collapsed. Of course, I only found this out once I'd closed the door and then couldn't open it, which required some fancy shenanigans just to get the door back open. 

Once I'd isolated the broken part I was very pleased to find that I can get a new lock mechanism from ScrewFix for just 79 pence. I was somewhat less pleased to find that this replacement was a tiny bit too big for the hole in the door, so I had to spend a fiver on a smaller one. Which it turned out didn't fit either. I think our house was built in a time when the inch was slightly smaller than it is now. 

Anyhoo, the proper way to make the lock fit would have been to reach into my toolkit and produce a shiny, sharp chisel of exactly the right size and cut out the excess wood. Of course, that's not going to happen in my house, so I ended up using an electric drill to just enlarge the edges of the hole until it was big enough. We now have a door with a handle that works, having done only around three times as much work as I thought I'd have to....

Hello Dundee

/

It's kind of annoying when, having spent a huge amount of time and cash trying to get the best camera you can you press your phone up against the train window and get this...

I'm in Dundee for a couple of days, doing external examining things for Abertay. The weather here is wonderful. I'm assured that it is like this all year round. 

Had tea at this lovely place which had a Fiat in the window. 

Mirror, Mirror on the wall

/

I know, don't I ever, that nobody really cares that today I managed to get our mirror on the wall but I really like it.

I saw this thing on a home improvement show where they advised putting a mirror opposite a window to spread the light around a bit. So we got one and, after last week's failure, today we (thanks Chris) managed to fit the little hooks on the mirror onto a couple of overly sturdy bolts stuck in the wall. 

Out of touch?

/

I hate it when people tell me absolute whoppers. I find it rather offensive that they think I might be daft enough to believe them. I was in conversation with someone whose company had rather dropped the ball and was messing us about a bit, and the other person said "We've been trying to contact you for a while..."

How? What with? Were they shouting on street corners, writing slogans on walls, sending out carrier pigeons, trying remote Vulcan mind melds? They've got my mobile and home numbers, plus email address. How could they try and get in touch and not have me notice? 

Well, really. 

Avoiding seven years bad luck..

/

We didn't go out to buy a mirror. Especially not one that is octagonal, around a meter in diameter and weighs a ton. But we did. Here you can see the carefully calculated plans that I used to work out exactly where to drill the holes for the two bolts on which the mirror will fit. Unfortunately, even with this level of careful planning I still ended up with the mirror sat forlornly on the floor. 

The extra chunky coach bolts are in exactly the right place on the wall, which is nice. But the hooks on the back of the mirror won't fit over them. Life eh?

Big feet, big problems

/

I've never considered myself as having particularly large feet. But apparently I have. I went into a shop today to try and buy some new shoes (something which I only do when the existing ones are actually falling apart) and they had nothing in my size. Nothing. (well, nothing that looked sensible anyway - I had number one wife with me as my "stlyistic sanity check").

What we want is a way that I can go on-line, tell the shop I'm coming in on Saturday with feet that need shoeing (if that is a verb) and then walk in to a plethora of fitting footwear. And you know, in the future I reckon it might just happen. I certainly hope so. 

Which Magazine Art

/

When I was younger I used to enjoy reading my grandmother's collection of Which magazines. This was way back in the sixties, when consumerism was just getting going.  I still get the magazine today. It has turned into a bit more of a lifestyle publication than it used to be; when it is recommending tumble driers that cost more than five hundred pounds as "best buys" you just know that something has come adrift. It still has teeth though, as its latest investigation into the way that products are getting smaller but not cheaper illustrates. 

However I think it had its heyday in the fifties and sixties, when there were many such issues to address. They also had a way with graphical design which was quite ahead of its time. Take a look at these covers for a glimpse of history. 

Dangerous Questions

/

Last week I had to ring up PayPal to liberate some funds that they were clinging on to rather more than they should. The call went smoothly and we sorted everything out. And I've since had two emails from PayPal giving me the "Opportunity to share my feedback." Or, as I put it, do their quality control for them.

I'm a helpful soul, but I'm not sure about all this. It seems that everything I do now results in a friendly request to engage in a dialogue to discuss how well it went. Even my un-solicited calls from EE about upgrading my phone were followed by a text asking what I thought. Fortunately for them I demurred on that occasion. 

I've got two worries about this kind of thing. One is there really should be more driving good customer service than the fear that someone might get a bad review. And the other is more scary. It is all to do with what my feedback tells the company about me.

As a generally easy-going soul who has no great love of upsetting folks I tend to rate my experiences in a positive way. Since my ratings can be data-mined in the context of what other people will have said about the same operatives I could therefore be placed in an "easy going" category that might change the experiences and offers that I might get if I ring up with a genuine problem some time in the future. I've been looking fairly carefully at the disclaimers and I've not found anything that rules out this possibility. 

Perhaps I should leave a really stinking review. Just in case. 

War of the Worlds

/
The eve of the war.....

The eve of the war.....

Some time ago I went to see "Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds" performed live at the Sheffield Arena. It was awesome. This year I found out that they were doing it again. In London. With a stage show. And David Essex. So I booked tickets, completely forgetting about Three Thing Game on the same weekend. 

Idiot me. 

Anyhoo, this morning we set off bright and early, arrived in good time, and discovered that in celebration of our trip the good people of London had closed the underground (or at least the Circle line that we needed), moved the bus-stops and hidden all the taxis. And the weather was a bit chilly too. Fortunately we are made of stern stuff and managed to find our way to the venue with only a bit of extra walking. 

The show was excellent. It was perhaps a bit more "stagey" than I would prefer with more expressive dancing than I think it really needed. And I've never been a fan of singing children in "full-urchin" mode. But the loud pieces were properly loud, although not as loud as the performance in Sheffield. When that one kicked off I watched the first three rows actually move backwards six feet.....

David Essex was the star, and made sure that we knew it. The rest of the cast filled their roles with gusto. Even the tripod that lurched around the stage was suitably menacing.  Great fun and well worth the price of admission.

Shame on you Uncle Joe

/

While we were in Whitby a while back we bought a can of Uncle Joe's Mintballs. They are really really nice. Great to have around when you are writing code. I opened the can today and discovered something a bit naughty. In the "Good Old Days" (tm) you would find a bag of mintballs. Nowadays you have a much smaller number of flashily wrapped, individual mints. The weight of minty goodness you get has gone down from 200 gms to 120 gms. And the price has gone up slightly too. 

Shame on you Uncle Joe. Shame on you. 

Good Food at Harogate

/

Last week it was gadgets, this week it is food. Who says I don't lead a cultured existence?

Anyhoo, today we headed off to Harrogate in search of cheese and other comestibles at the Spring BBC Good Food Show. There was lots of great stuff, and much fun was had trying samples. I wondered about taking a selection of disguises next year so that I can go round multiple times, tippling gin and eating cheese off toothpicks. But it is probably easier just to buy the stuff that you like, and so we did. We also went to a cooking demonstration that was very entertaining and very slick. 

Michel Roux Jr. gave the demo that we saw. The trick, apparently, is not to care whether or not your soufflé rises. Then it takes care of itself. Great day, great fun. And some great food.