Buy my book. And a Hammer.
/You know my book? The one I never mention? Well, it is presently ranked as the 434,444th best seller on Amazon in the 'states. This is quite good, but not great. Yet. Feel free to mosey on down and order your copy. And when you do, you could also get yourself a nice hammer. I'd just love to see this down in the "Customers who bought this book also bought...." entry on the page for my book..
On the other hand, perhaps one of these might be more appropriate.